Award-winning kid’s author Meg Rossoff barred because of her 'blasphemous' book 'There Is No Dog'

Meg Rossoff has had her appearances cancelled at both an independent Christian school and a literary festival in Dubai owing to the subject matter of her new book, which repaints God as a hormonal teenager preoccupied with shagging girls and sleeping late. He also invents the world in a six days (not because of any sacred setting aside of the seventh day for rest – he just can’t be bothered to go on) and forgets to invent food so animals have to go round gorging on each other.

The school in question (which rejoices in the gloriously British and sniggersome name of Monkton Combe) is an independently funded Christian boarding school. The principal explained his school’s stance thus: “Parents in this part of south west England have a rich choice of schools. As a school, we take seriously our responsibility to honour the choice parents have made by providing an education which reflects our ethos. At the start of this term, we made the decision that hosting the author Meg Rosoff to talk about her latest book, There Is No Dog, and subtitled What If God Were A Teenage Boy?, was not an appropriate reflection of our ethos."

In other words, he doesn’t want to lose those lovely fees. Dog forbid his pupils should be given any incentive to think critically. Better that they are raised to never question the concept and existence of a God for whom there’s never been one single, slight piece of evidence since the dawn of religion.